We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
nut hugger
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
