you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
