it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
