please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
