Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
