just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
