Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We need to feng shui this bitch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
