if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i've created a new STD.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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