honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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