New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
