Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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