And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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