My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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