STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
