Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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