We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
