my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
