That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
