are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
