he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
As shirtless as possible
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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