My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize