No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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