I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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