Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
After tacos, we're chasing women.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
