there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
