Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
