to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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