I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Drake has all the answers
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
