how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
