apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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