I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
