Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
