We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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