Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nicole vs. Life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
