Have you finally orgasmed yet?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
