eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Green mimosas i think yes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
