the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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