thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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