you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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