I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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