i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize