I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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