i just wanna soil my oats bro
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
