im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
