They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
