My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
