Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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