Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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