eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
