i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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