I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
