Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
