i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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