i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
