I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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