I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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