Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
