There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
