I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
