and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
