My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Welp...herpes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
