my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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