please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
