i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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