Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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