Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
