If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize