dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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