Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
