I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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