Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
