PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
