i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
organizing the empties. That sober.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
